It's that point of my life, where things are changing again. Some for the worst and some for the very best. I'll admit to who I am is not always the best but rest assured, I'm always making an effort to be better. My time is here and I'm in the driver's seat. It's my turn to take charge, it's my turn to be. It's my turn to decide.
(via dont-die-dragonfly)
(via dont-die-dragonfly)
(Source: tanlines-and-tie-dye, via chasing-dreams-and-love)
(Source: imprisoned-in-this-world)
(via whatdoesntexsist)
(via stitchmon)
For the first time in weeks, I’ve broken out in tears.
Sitting in Starbucks and all of a sudden I find myself looking at old messages, old pictures, and reflecting on old memories and I think to myself, where has my heart gone. Where has my passion in the romantic things faded to?
am I just feeling lonely? It’s not that I don’t protest loneliness as an excuse to attach unassorted feelings to some random stranger because that is not the way to go. I need to learn to control my emotional withdrawals with other methods.
But for now, I’ll admit to how I feel now.
I’m empty. I’m lost. I’m confused. I’m missing you so much but I can’t find the courage to pick up the phone to tell you that I love you so much and that everyday, I wish that everything was different. That somewhere out of the blue, you’ll show up and I’ll run to you with open arms and pour my heart out all over again but I can’t.
I’ve been preoccupied, just to relieve the pressure that affected us both but by ignoring it, it actually just strengthened it.
I might be able to get through it granted that it will still be a difficult thing to do but I’ll try.
Right now, I’ll just sit here and let the tears run dry. Forgive my sentimentalism. I am a leo and I guess it’s the artist in me.
:’(
(Source: sarahgwd, via erisatotheright)
(Source: baneofwolves, via erisatotheright)
the HONEST truth
I have been warped and torn through a lot of crap in the past couple of months, mainly from my own self-annihilating thoughts and actions. Ever since I detached myself from the one thing I thought was true in my life, I’ve been coping in a way that didn’t really prove effective in restoring who I am and what I believed in.
I’ve allowed a promiscuis and reckless person to manifest. And now, I’m feeling the exhaustion and confusion that has been building up from it. I’m gonna assume that this was a phase that I needed to go through, that the experiences, however bad or unjustified as they are, are my wake up call to what it is I NEED to do for myself.
I don’t have to explain anymore for what I’ve done nor do I owe it to anyone to repay for the hurt I’ve caused them, as I have already given and sacrificed so much. Accept my mother, who I owe everything. The only thing I can do at this point is to admit to my mistakes, get my shit together, and move the fuck on. I know it sounds like a jackass thing to say but at this point, I need to be firm, I need start developing that toughness, because I know that in order to achieve success, you need to be tough.
Relationships are not a priority to me these days, but it doesn’t mean that I’m shutting out all emotions completely. If anything, I’ll embrace the feelings that I may or may not have but learn to control temptation and pull focus on what is actually important. The only person who last held my heart was Jon and honestly, I don’t have it in me right now to seek out anyone new to invest in romantically. As much as that relationship took a toll on me and him, I know that what ended between us was for the best.
The bonds between my family and close friendsare what I need to spend time strengthening. They are everything to me and the only people in my life that I trust will have my back as I do the same for them.
This SUMMER is my start to make things happen. To excel in my pursuit as an actor, save money, maintain a healthy living, devising a blueprint for my future and most of all, restoring my passion for art, life, and love. Love, meaning rekindling the corkiness and romanticism that has dwindled.
As of this day, I am a dreamer. I am a doer. I am a dreamer that is going to do what it takes to accomplish those dreams.
