My turn to decide

It's that point of my life, where things are changing again. Some for the worst and some for the very best. I'll admit to who I am is not always the best but rest assured, I'm always making an effort to be better. My time is here and I'm in the driver's seat. It's my turn to take charge, it's my turn to be. It's my turn to decide.  

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Such a blessing to be part of my favorite broadway musical. This show has made such an impact on many, telling the stories of several young individuals, who try to live their lives in love, passion, and unity through the growing strife of eviction, poverty, drugs, and disease. To be in a show that interprets the theme and story that Jonathan Larson has created is nothing more that an honor. Rent is a show that makes me dig deep with my inner demons, brings out my strongest ideal self, and challenges me as actor vocally and dramatically. 

I rise to fall…

Failure isn’t the most fun thing in the world. When you’re a kid, it’s not so bad. There’s so many chances to pick yourself up, plus the fall isn’t as high when you’re a grown up. 

SIghh, I wish that I was a kid again, failing, but knowing that I can do it all over again without getting trampled. The past few months have been nothing but a total hell for me. I know that I should keep into mind that others have been through worse, but I’m sorry, I’m not comparing my life to anyones else’s. This is mine. Surely, many people who have gone through worse are in a better position than they were at the time. As for me, every try I do to pick myself up seems to make things two times bad than what it was. If something is going wrong and I do what I can to make it better, something else goes wrong. 

To sum up what has happened in the last year or so, I have lost my job (one that I have dedicated a lot of time and effort to), my apartment, my boyfriend (which I’m not too sad about), and many things. I’m in a financial slum that I can’t seem to bring myself at ease with since my Dad is pretty much a dead-beat father that only calls once or twice every few years - obviously he can’t help me; My mother, a woman who does what she can but only that; My friends, whom I love and will always love aren’t really there. Then there’s me. 

I don’t like to rely on others to do things for me because I’m that kind of guy that takes on responsibility when it comes to me and my life. That and my pride is a little overbearing at times. For the last six month I’ve been working two part time jobs that don’t even pay enough to put gas in my car after all my bills. I don’t have much bills to begin with, that just goes to show how shitty the minimum wage is where I live. 

I went from a world traveler to a barista and a desk operator at a gym. How pathetic does that sound? I know I’m being a little too hard on myself but it really does suck. I’m trying to not complain because I still have my legs, my arms, and my life for that matter. However, death sounds much more peaceful than the life that I’m going through right now. 

I’m not a quitter and I’m certainly not gonna give up on everything right now but I’m going to admit that I need help. I need direction, i need a chance to do something that will get me out of this shit hole of a living I’m in…

thebhivebuzz:

Yeaaaaaaaa it’s my birthday month! TURNUP all month! Well most of it anyway! 😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝 #leo #aug4 #august

thebhivebuzz:

Yeaaaaaaaa it’s my birthday month! TURNUP all month! Well most of it anyway! 😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝 #leo #aug4 #august

(Source: icanread)

boxlunches:

lady-bodhisattva:

I’m a Christian, and even I can recognize how ridiculous it is for people to oppose gay marriage based on the grounds that “The Bible defines marriage as one man and one woman.” That’s simply not true. 

If these are barbaric and no longer acceptable practices, then I think we can say that prejudice against queer people is also barbaric and no longer acceptable.

(Source: infandous-scripturient, via dont-die-dragonfly)

winneganfake:

adventurotica:

Toothless cosplay

…..
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How in hell does this have so few notes?

winneganfake:

adventurotica:

Toothless cosplay

…..

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How in hell does this have so few notes?

(via dont-die-dragonfly)